Tuesday, February 14, 2012

BLESSINGS



I recently heard someone speak rather derisively of people who express gratitude for their blessings.  The thrust of the comment was that the very idea of "blessings" is an archaic, theological concept that has no place in the post-Enlightenment world.

While I have a wide tolerance for various theological points of view, I found myself somewhat puzzled by this comment because it seems to me that one can feel genuinely blessed and grateful without having a hardened position about the source of the blessings.  Isn't life itself a blessing, life with all of its infinite possibilities?  And what of the world of our inheritance—not the inevitable pain, frustration, and suffering—but love, beauty, music, art, the opportunity to become one of the co-creators of the world?  Are not these abiding blessings?  I believe they are, and I find that my heart sings in agreement when I read the following passage from John O'Donohue's fine essay, "To Retrieve the Lost Art of Blessing," which is found in O'Donohue's book, To Bless the Space Between Us.

There is a kindness that dwells deep down in things: it presides everywhere, often in the places we least expect.  The world can be harsh and negative, but if we remain generous and patient, kindness inevitably reveals itself.  Something deep in the human soul seems to depend on the presence of kindness; something instinctive in us expects it, and once we sense it we are able to trust and open ourselves . . . 
Despite all the darkness, human hope is based on the instinct that at the deepest level of reality some intimate kindness holds sway.  This is the heart of blessing.  To believe in blessing is to believe that our being here, our very presence in the world, is itself the first gift, the primal blessing. As Rilke says: Heir zu sein ist so viel—to be here is immense.  Nowhere does the silence of the infinite lean so intensely as around the form of a newly born infant.  Once we arrive, we enter into the inheritance of everything that has preceded us; we become heirs to the world.  To be born is to be chosen.  To be created and come to birth is to be blessed. Some primal kindness chose us and brought us through the forest of dreaming until we could emerge into the clearance of individuality, with a path of life opening before us through the world.
The beginning often holds the clue to everything that follows.  Given the nature of our beginning, it is no wonder that our hearts are imbued with longing for beauty, meaning, order, creativity, compassion, and love.  We approach the world with this roster of longings and expect that in some way the world will respond and confirm our desire.  Our longing knows it cannot force the fulfillment of its desire; yet it does instinctively expect that primal benevolence to respond to it.  This is the threshold where blessing comes alive. 

Einstein once suggested that the most important question a person can ask is whether the universe is a friendly place.  The answer, I suppose, would probably vary from person to person, depending on whether one is an optimist, a pessimist, or a downright cynic.  At the very least, however, I feel deeply that our lives enjoy the blessings of what John O'Donohue refers to as "primal kindness" or "primal benevolence."  Each person is free, of course, to provide his or her own theological tag to that kindness and benevolence, but, as always, it's not the label of a thing, but rather its essence, that befriends the questing heart.  We are the most improbable of creatures living on the most improbable of planets, and if we have nothing else, we always have the opportunity to transform ourselves and our world. That, for me, will always be a blessing worthy of my highest gratitude.

36 comments:

  1. I consider myself to be a pessimist and a downright cynic and yet I still believe the world is essentially a friendly place. Of course this is extremely difficult to reconcile when thinking of the atrocities of the world. If we step back and take a second look at perpetrators of evil, we often find they have been under the influence of drugs, religion, or a violence beat into their own psyche. When they're freed of these, they too are often kind people. Obviously, it is too complicated for a comment but I do think we have to have at least a vague understanding of evil to know the good. Our inheritance includes the evil I'm afraid.

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  2. What a beautiful book cover and image. It looks pearlized.

    Just a day or two ago, I responded to something by using the word blessed, and as I typed it, I was concerned that the recipient of this comment would tag it as archaic and attach a negative connotation to it, but it was exactly the word I wanted to use and so I did. It seems a shame that some very good words might be maligned, as though they are no longer relevant. To me, they are more relevant than ever. I love what you have said here about blessings, and the O'Donohue excerpt is very nice. I like his line about "the forest of dreaming," as well as your statement, "it's not the label of a thing, but rather its essence, which befriends the questing heart."

    Yes, "the world of our inheritance," and "the opportunity to become one of the co-creators of the world."

    This is a beautiful post, every line.

    My word verification is "blest." :)

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  3. Thanks for the comments, Rubye Jack. Well, I think there must be an optimist in there someplace if you still believe that the world is essentially a friendly place. Yes, there is evil in the world, but not enough in my view to destroy the myriad blessings of life.

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  4. Thanks for your lovely comments, TERESA. We shouldn't be afraid of words like "blessing." There are times when the heart (authenticity) should speak and the mind (fear) should remain silent. Glad that you liked the post, and the fact that your word verification was "blest" shows once again that there is often a great deal of synchronicity among bloggers.

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  5. I know that you mean every word of what you say, dear George; when you say 'blessing' you don't mean the pathetic 'counting your blessings' that so many people end on after they've recited a long list of complaints, but the blessing of a new life, the kindness man shows when called upon and this wonderful earth we have been given to take care of.

    I do so wish that I could mean it too, always. So often cynicism gets in the way, reality intrudes, unkindness and, worse, hatred destroys my belief in the goodness of man.

    Man is capable of great kindness but also of great evil. Yet still I feel blessed that I have been given this life, which has, at times, known great unhappiness.

    I don't unreservedly believe in the 'goodness' of man or this world but I have yet to meet one who has not, in some way, shown the promise of 'goodness'.

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  6. I seem to feel perpetually blessed even by the smallest strands of my experience. I sometimes wonder how & why I am the recipient of such largess. Best that I don't intellectualize too much. Thinking sometimes destroys that which comes as a gift with no strings attached - just as a blessing.

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  7. Thanks for your thoughtful comments, FRIKO. No, I don't believe unreservedly in the goodness of man. To the contrary, I feel that the competitive instinct of man, coupled with his egocentric drive, has always been—and will continue to be—a threat to the kind of peaceful world that we often imagine. The blessings of which I speak, however, are far more basic—the blessing of life itself, the blessing of having a voice and the ability to make a contribution, the blessings of beauty, love, friendship, art. In short, I have been given the tools with which to make a life. That, I think, is worthy of gratitude.

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  8. Happy Valentines, Barb, and thanks for your comments. I agree with you entirely. Sometimes it's best to avoid mental calculations—comparing assets with liabilities—and just go with the gut instinct that, notwithstanding everything, we have been blessed in life.

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  9. I would choose not to spend too much time in the company of anyone who failed to see the manifest blessings and miraculousness of the world. The world is chock full of mystery and magic—any kindergarten kid knows this—just look at a flower or a butterfly.

    Life itself is made up of miracles and blessings. Theology has nothing whatever to do with it. Perhaps for your friend the world blessing got conflated with offering thanks to a specific idea about God before a meal?

    Also, gratitude leads to contentment and to joy. Someone who rejects gratitude would make very dour company indeed.

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  10. Hi George, this is a timely post for me, having just read "The Gentle Art of Blessing" as recommended by The Pollinatrix (of The Whole Blooming World).

    It's not always an easy practice, perhaps due to the notion that there's a "right" way to do it as sanctioned by religious traditions, but really, it's just about having good wishes for others, even those we don't like a whole lot. I wonder if the person who derided blessing understands the implications of such a thing and how it goes beyond dogma or ideology.

    I like how you put it: "to become one of the co-creators of the world" - by wishing well, by blessing, aren't we co-creating and caring well?

    Wendy

    (ps. hooray, my German is coming along and I actually understood the Rilke quote without translations!)

    (pps. sorry, Temporary Reality is currently offline...)

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  11. "Each person is free, of course, to provide his or her own theological tag..." Well put. A quaker friend of mine, whenever I get too hot-headed about one thing and another is fond of reminding me that everyone has to "find their own Way".

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  12. Starting with that beautiful book cover I feel “blessed” from this post, George. I confess it is something I have come to expect here, to be blessed. I know how much the world and its systems disappoint you, as they do me. It is a constant strain, and can deplete our spirits. Yet it is this solid, quiet essence of all things that permeates our lives; it is an upstream practice to remain mindful of this within a world of woe.

    I, too, hesitate to use certain words like “blessing” because of my religious background. But I take heart that all things can be made new, and I can see the world with infant eyes every morning. I am so touched by the juxtaposition of O'Donahue's phrase “forest of dreaming” with the “infinite lean” of a newborn infant. Incredibly, and succinctly, this captures the still, small, universe on the head of a pin that magically unfolds with a new life.

    Even on the days I at least feel like it, I can choose to create something kind, loving, or beautiful, because those energies are all around. In fact, I need only come here for a good dose.

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  13. Thanks for your heartfelt comments, DAN. I obviously agree with you that the world is chock-full of mystery and magic. Our task is to learn to see it daily through fresh eyes, and to then experience deep-felt gratitude. Without gratitude, peace and happiness would be beyond my reach.

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  14. Great to hear from you, WENDY. That's one of today's blessings. Yes, I think that many people are wary of thinking in terms of "blessings," perhaps because the term has been used so much in religious traditions. I, however, think of blessing in two ways. First, to feel blessed is to feel deep gratitude for that which is valued in life. Second, when I think of blessings extended by one person to another, I think of it as a gift of energy, a gift of good tidings, a measure of hope that may alter the future, if only ever so slightly, for the better.

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  15. Thanks for your beautiful comments, RUTH. You are one of those blessings for which I am grateful, and I'm happy to know that you feel "blessed," even as you hesitate to use the word. Since words are nothing but symbols—and often poor ones at that—I have no stock in the term "blessing." I do value the feeling of gratitude, however, and that, I suppose, it what this post is all about.

    Your own words make the case beautifully for me. You say that you "can take heart that all things can be made new;" that you can "see the world with infant eyes every morning;" and that, even on the days when you are down, you "can choose to create something kind, loving, or beautiful . . . " To have these abilities is to have the tools necessary for creating a meaningful life and a better world. One can argue about the source of these tools, but they are indisputably among the most important gifts we receive during this brief transit we call life. That's why I am content to call them blessings.

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  16. Thanks for your comment, DOMINIC. Your Quaker friend is right—every person must find his or her own path. It you walk someone else's path, you will find what they are looking for, not what you are looking for.

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  17. Your posts are always sweet blessings George. They invariably point to and illucidate the transcendent. Perhaps that is what counting our blessings does - allow us to rise above our disappointments and fears - to transcend the negative dross stirred up by the ego.

    It is, perhaps, simply a matter of focus, as you so beautifully describe. To focus on beauty, truth, goodness, love, life is a step toward transcendence ... and what a trip!

    You and your blog are a welcome waystation along the way. Thank you.

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  18. Thanks for your kind and thoughtful comments, BONNIE. Your words capture so beautifully what I have been trying to say—specifically, that feeling blessed and grateful "allows us to rise above our disappointments and fears—to transcend the negative dross stirred up by the ego." Yes, as many point out, the world is often a very ugly place, and we are destined to encounter a life that falls short of our dreams and highest ideals. As Rilke states, however, "just to be here is immense." To dream itself is a blessing.

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  19. Lovely. John O'Donohue's writing speaks to the heart. It is a wondrous thing to offer blessings, feel blessed and to allow oneself to accept blessings. I would not want to live in a world or inhabit a mind where blessing were considered irrelevant.

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  20. Well said, LAUREL. I'm with you 100%. It is indeed wondrous to bless and feel blessed. Without some sense of being blessed, how could we ever enter the spirit of gratitude? Without a sense of gratitude, life would make no sense to me.

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  21. I just read this on a healing card this morning,"Celebrate all that is good and blessed about your life, realizing that gratitude is a powerful remedy. Appreciating your blessings increases the vitality of your life force." I thought I would share this as it seems so relevant to your post.

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  22. Thanks for coming back with the gift of that great quote, Laurel. It's precisely the point I want to make in this post!

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  23. I too heard someone deriding folk who blogged their blessings, something I used to do regularly and perhaps I could go on doing at the risk of repeating myself. I am a huge fan of John O'Donohue, I have all his books, his passing was such a loss.
    As the Dalai Lama said Only Kindness Matters, it's what life is about isn't it? Love and kindness. Those who perpetrate evil have yet to learn this.

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  24. Thanks for your comments, CAIT. Yes, the passing of O'Donohue was a real loss. We are fortunate, however, that he left us with such fine, inspirational books. And, yes, kindness is so vital to the world, and I agree with O'Donohue that a sense of kindness underpins every feeling of being blessed.

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  25. A beautiful and optimistic post, George. I've always thought that words and concepts such as 'blessing', 'sacred', 'redemption' and so on need to be liberated from a narrowly sectarian, religious context.

    We are indeed blessed, even though it's sometimes hard to feel it. Without a belief in innate 'intimate kindness', without Rilke's notion of the wonderful immensity of life, things would often be difficult to bear.

    Einstein's question is very relevant and important. I think we are free to choose how we view the world — even if our life experience has been tragic and fraught with pain and suffering, even if we live under a totalitarian regime. To a large extent, I believe, we can choose optimism, pessimism or cynicism, a choice facilitated by employing various, conscious techniques: our individual lifestyle, meditation, Zen, effort of will etc.

    Once more, I'm going to copy your post and save it.

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  26. Thanks, ROBERT. I couldn't agree with you more. Words like "blessings," "sacred," and "redemption" need to be understood is a much larger context. One does not need to be a religious fundamentalist to feel enormous gratitude for the gifts of life. Rilke nails it precisesly—it's immense just to be here!

    Like you, I'm aware that life can be full of pain and suffering, particularly for those who live under totalitarian regimes. However, as Victor Frankl reminded us in "Man's Search For Meaning," we always have a choice, even if it's only a mental choice. How we view the world and our place in it means everything!

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  27. I am aware of all my blessings and I acknowledge the fact every day. The blessings that I'm thankful for include the songs of the birds, the rain that cleanses and gives us the vital necessity of life, the flowers and trees - in fact all the blessings of the natural world. Man doesn't actually figure very largely in my thoughts from that particular perspective I'm afraid:)

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  28. Thanks for your thoughtful comments, ROWAN. Yes, I agree that gratitude for nature's blessings comes easier than gratitude for the works of mankind. That said, however, I see many examples of people who are making the world a better place, relatively speaking.

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  29. John O'D is a favorite of mine, so sad that he has passed and yet he is part of all life and has left us so much.

    I love the idea of "primal kindness" or "primal benevolence." You see evidence of this when there are disasters and people/strangers come to the assistance with kindness.

    Thank you for this beautiful post...

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  30. Thanks, TAMMIE LEE. Glad you liked this post, and I agree with everything you say about John O'Donohue.

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  31. To believe in blessing is to believe that our being here, our very presence in the world, is itself the first gift, the primal blessing.

    What a perfect post to read just before my blogger break! I'm always amazed at my friends who have had a rough road and tough knocks and still find hope and beauty in daily life and continue to give of themselves. I suppose if one's expectations are too high (and too limited in the true meaning of the word), they will be disappointed. People often look at it as what they will get, not what they can give. Giving beauty to this world (not just taking it) is truly a miracle in my book.

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  32. Thanks for your lovely comments, MARGARET. I agree with everything you say. Best wishes on your blogging break!

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  33. I think this is the ultimate question for humans and humanity.. the dual human complexity of l. the capacity for complete evil (like Nazi germany) and 2. the capacity of human heroic kindness in the face of great evil.. either man is sinking or soaring it seems.. and yet many of us live our daily lives without experiencing either.. just going about out quiet days.

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  34. Thanks for your thoughtful comments, DONNA. Yes, I think we can see both the sinking and the soaring in the headlines we read or see every day. Fortunately, every individual has a choice. Let us hope that more will soar than sink.

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  35. I like the link in ideas between the O'Donohue quote and the poem 'Clearing' that you posted on March 8.

    Life is improbable, for me gratitude is the best course.

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  36. Thanks, Northmoon! Glad that you dropped by and I hope you will return. Yes, life is uncertain and gratitude is the best course for dealing with both the highs and the lows. I quite agree!

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