The perfect man employs his mind as a mirror; it grasps nothing; it refuses nothing; it receives, but does not keep.
Chuang-tzu
"Detachment" is not a term that is greeted with much favor in American culture. In common parlance, the word suggests aloofness, emotional frigidity, or insensitivity to the concerns of others or one's community. Zen Buddhism, however, does not view detachment with such negativity. Indeed, detachment is regarded as central to the preservation of one's core balance and integrity. In his fine book, Become What You Are, the great Zen teacher Alan Watts explained it this way:
Detachment means to have neither regrets for the past nor fears for the future; to let life take its course without attempting to interfere with its movement and change, neither trying to prolong the stay of things pleasant nor to hasten the departure of things unpleasant. To do this is to move in time with life, to be in perfect accord with its changing music, and this is called Enlightenment. In short, it is to be detached from both the past and future and to live in the eternal Now. For in truth neither past nor future have any existence apart from this Now; by themselves they are illusions. Life exists only at this very moment, and in this moment it is infinite and eternal.The old sage Lao-tzu was, of course, the master of detachment. "Just stay at the center of the circle," he said, "and let all things take their course." Tao Te Ching (translation by Stephen Mitchell).
I need constant reminders to stay in the NOW and remain detached. Perhaps the older I get, the easier detachment should be for me. However, when misfortune arrives, I often wish it would hurry up and leave. It is in times of trouble that it's most difficult for me to stay at the center. I smiled at your bluebird photo, George. Such happy-making birds.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Barb. Yes, I agree that detachment can be a challenge, especially during times of misfortune. Resistance to reality, however, can be equally, if not more, challenging. Glad you liked the bluebird photo.
DeleteI needed to relearn this lesson exactly when you posted it. Thank you. Beautiful image of the bluebird.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Teresa. Glad that my timing worked for you. I also need to relearn this lesson daily.
DeleteI think I would benefit from having this pinned on my wall, where I could read it daily, because although I am sure it is true George, I don't always manage to practise it.
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone in this respect, Pat. All of us struggle daily to practice the wisdom we know to be true.
DeleteI am in total sympathy with these wise words of Chuang-tzu and Lao-tzu, and agree that detachment in this sense does not connote aloofness, emotional frigidity and insensitivity to others. Indeed, I feel that true Buddhist detachment, true letting go into the here and now, true going with the flow of life, without regret, frustration or resistance, actually makes one more able to appreciate the needs of others, more sensitive to all creatures, moments and events, more balanced, more happy — and 'lighter', somehow. However, as others above have said, it's not always easy to be in this perfect state, and it needs daily practice.
ReplyDeleteLove the bluebird! The only blue and orange bird we have over here in the UK is the kingfisher — stunningly marked, but from quite a different family.
You make an excellent point, Robert, about true Buddhist detachment actually making one more sensitive to the needs of others. Indeed, to be detached is to be free from the fears, expectations, and judgments that would otherwise prevent us from living consciously and sensitively. It is indeed a lighter way of being, one that gives us more balance and flexibility as we move throughout this little dance called life.
DeleteThanks for the compliment on the bluebird photo. The survival of bluebirds in my part of the country was threatened a few decades ago, but, fortunately, they have made a strong comeback.
Thanks for this, George. In the past I've bristled a bit when I've read certain passages on detachment, especially in relationships. There can be what seems to be a lack of passion, which could be interpreted as a weakened state of love. I think especially of an essay by Eckhart Tolle's partner Kim Eng where it troubled me.
ReplyDeleteBut now, years after reading it, and receiving your post with this quote by Watts, I'm pretty sure I didn't understand it. More recently I've come to see what Watts articulates here. For a person like me, who feels the world more than sees it, detachment is not only a challenge, but a necessary part of emotional survival. Lao-tzu's advice to stay at the center of the circle is new to me and quite helpful.
Don and I were just saying yesterday that we had not seen any bluebirds in a while (years), and so thank you for the beauty of yours this morning. He's glorious!
Detachment can be a tricky subject, Ruth, because the western and eastern perspectives are completely different. That's one of the points I was trying to make here. From the eastern or Zen Buddhist perspective, I don't think detachment is inconsonant in the least with any healthy passion, including deep love. Indeed, I would say that love and beauty are made all the richer — experienced at a deeper level — when we simply let them flow through us in their own time and place. The problem, as I see it, is with the grasping, the clinging, the attempts to interfere with movement and change. When that occurs, we lose the ability to live abundantly and completely in the unadulterated here and now.
DeleteAs I mentioned to Robert, the survival of the bluebirds in my part of the country was threatened a few years ago. They have made a strong comeback, however, due in large part to conservation efforts. Here on the Eastern Shore, many people have installed bluebird nesting boxes on their properties. I have several in my backyard, and they keep my yard filled with these little blue jewels throughout the warmer months.
Thanks for your response, which reminds me of what Watts says in The Way of Zen about the difficulties communicating concepts like this from a culture so profoundly different from ours. I believe it takes many years of living out these alterations in perspective to understand what you do, that detachment is not inconsonant in the least with any healthy passion, including deep love.
DeleteLetting go, with the mind, does not mean letting go with the heart.
Yes, yes, yes, Ruth! You have nailed it! Letting go with the mind does not mean letting go with the heart. Letting go with the mind creates a far better environment in which the heart can joyfully work and play.
DeleteI would also like to add to the discussion that this Buddhist type of detachment does make the griefs and tragedies of life just a little bit easier to bear. Or so I have found. Which is by no means saying that one does not feel grief and, indeed, all emotions keenly and passionately.
ReplyDeleteMy experience with detachment has been much the same as yours, Robert. It's a bit like being a compassionate witness to what is happening, yet not interfering with the ebb and flow of life — "to be in time with life," as Alan Watts says, "to be in perfect accord with its changing music . . . "
DeleteI am glad you posted this as I am looking at Buddhism again as my son has expressed an interest in its way of living. I shall send him the excellent Watts quote. I have had the word 'detachment' in my mind for a few days now and this post was one of those coincidences (or as they are called 'windows into the Divine').
ReplyDeleteHi Cait — Glad you found something of value here for both yourself and your son. Buddhism is definitely worth exploring for almost anyone, regardless of his or her personal spiritual traditions. It is a very practical and insightful way of living because it is focused upon reality of human existence, not the illusions than most of us carry around in our heads throughout our lives. Find a basic book that explores The Four Noble Truths and The Eightfold Path. I hope your son is doing better.
DeleteI am presently reading a book by an English writer who advocates that we all stop chasing happiness and permanent positivity; he frequently quotes the buddhist's view of life. It makes perfect sense although I believe that it would take many years of study to be able to live accordingly.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime people like you give me small insights which I can learn to process at my own speed. Thank you, George.
I think you would be surprised, FRIKO, by how quickly a little Buddhist reading can begin to change one's outlook for the better. In any event, I think your English writer is right on point. The best way to be unhappy is to spend a great deal of time and energy chasing some elusive notion of happiness. Happiness, in my view, is to be found in the ordinary, the here and now.
DeleteAlan Watts is a favorite of mine -- nice to read his words on your post. -- barbara
ReplyDeleteThanks, BARBARA. Glad you liked this post.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting and I think it is about balance. I do agree the word "detachment" is most likely mis-understood, but I don't think it conflicts with Christianity. Not the way I understand it. That doesn't mean I am successful at living in the NOW. I don't carry huge burdens from my past mistakes, hopefully I learn from them. My error is probably worrying a bit about the future, trusting in the NOW. Very nice post - reminds me to breath in and relax. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment, Margaret. Detachment is a word the Buddhist use, but there are other words that could be substituted, like "radical acceptance."
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